Almost December

My gosh. How can November almost be over already? Of course, since I'm not teaching this semester, I'm missing out on all of the end-of-semester wonderful events that go with grading, revising, regrading, etc. I kind of miss that feeling of getting all those papers, getting them graded, and then turning in grades and feeling good knowing there's a big load of work done.

Now I just have the dissertation, which frankly never gets done. I'm on p. 64 of my results chapter with, I'd say, at leat 20 to go until I send that one off for the first in many revisions. My methodology chapter (draft 5) came back to me with MORE, yes I did not think it was possible, more revisions needed. After whining to my director, he suggested I focus on the other chapters and leave that to the end. He said it will make a lot more sense when that's the only thing left. And so leave it, I shall.

Thanksgiving at home was good. We ate too much, we traveled too much, and I got nothing done. There was a bit o'news that will be interesting to share with you all, but I'm waiting a little bit longer to do so. Nothing like dragging out the suspense, eh? Plus, this way you all have to keep reading the blog! Mwaa haa haa! Anyway, this news has shaken up life a bit, but people keep assuring me that all will come together as it is supposed to, and so trust them, I shall. I'll share with you all soon.

Well, I have to be off now. Have a meeting with the diss director. More later.

Somewhere between the Moon and NYC

Here I am home again after a lovely (but exhausting) few days in New York City. I was there for the National Writing Project conference, and as a bonus, my mom and sister Melissa accompanied me. I spent 1.5 days "conferencing" while they went sightseeing. After that, we were able to see so many things together. This makes my third official trip to NYC, twice this year alone! Oy! This time Ken got to stay home and "hold down the fort," as my dad used to say.

Here are a few pictures for you to enjoy. This first one is of Melissa and me outside Rockefeller Plaza. Here we were able to see the huge Christmas tree, the ice rink, and NBC studios. The tre wasn't lit yet and had all the scaffolding on it as it was being trimmed, but we got to see how big it really is.

Here is a self-taken close up of my mom and I at Radio City Music Hall. We treated ourselves to a night of watching the Rockette's Christmas Spectacular show -- very impressive! Of course, all the shows in the theatre district were on strike, so the place was pretty crowded. Inside the main entrance was an enormoust crystal Christmas Tree -- swarvoski crystal, I believe. Melissa seemed to know what it was and that it was a big deal. It's the same fancy foo-foo crystal they use to make the star at the top of the Rockefeller center tree.

Of course, then we saw the Rocketts themselves.

And what would a trip to NYC be without a run up to the top of the Empire State Building? Run, ok, not so much. But how about an hour's wait for an elevator ride up to the top? Mom kept talking about Sleepless in Seattle on the way up there. I think she secretly hoped Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan would be up at the top (Big Sleepless movie fan).

I have many more pictures to share, but I'm running out of time right now. Ken'll be home from work soon and we're headed to IA for a very busy holiday week. Will share more about that later and I'll try to get more pictures up as soon as I can.

Hope everyone has a good holiday! Talk to you again soon.

Marcy

A Few Thoughts on Veteran's Day (one day late)

Yesterday was Veteran's Day, and because I am now living with an "official" veteran of a foreign war, I wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts with you all. As many of you know, it's very hard for me to comment on things pertaining to the war. I certainly don't like the fact that we are at war or that so many of our citizens are away from their homes and are fighting for something that so many of us don't understand. But I have to express how proud I am of those who give up so much of their own lives to serve. Though I have not been the one to pack up all of my belongings and put them into an 8x8 storage facility, have to leave my work, family, and significant other to go to a place where the future is uncertain, or have to face entering a place where I might be called upon to kill or be killed, I have had to let that person go and have been the one left at home wondering what's happening and left to wonder if that person will come home.

I'm very proud of Ken for doing what he says is "his job" and for giving up his own personal life and career. He's been home now for 2 years and we're nearing a point where he could be called up once again. It's something I try not to think about too much, but it's something we both know could very likely (almost certainly) happen again. After having lived with him gone for 17+ months and experiencing all that went with that, I sometimes surprise myself at how little I think about those days. But when I do, so much of it is right there at the forefront of my mind ready to spill out.

Just this morning, I was in a meeting and sharing an idea for a professional development workshop helping faculty deal with college trajedies. I felt the need to share how big of a role the War in Iraq & Afghanistan is playing on our students and faculty today; this is something I don't think is talked about as much as school shootings or other terrible trajedies. Last fall, for instance, at the community college, I had a female student who had just returned from Iraq and whose boyfriend was still serving over there. One day in class she just didn't seem like herself. After class, I asked her if everything was okay, and she shared with me that she was worried because she hadn't heard from him in 2-3 weeks. I shared with her my experience of poor communication with Ken when he was gone and tried to reassure her that her boyfriend was just in a place right now where he couldn't communicate with her, but that he surely would as soon as he could. She seemed to feel better having someone to talk to, and though I'm not a counselor by any means, I think sharing my experience with her helped both her and me. It helped me put part of my experience into perspective. I wonder if perhaps I was meant to be part of Ken's experience so that though teaching, I could help students going or returning to the war. To date, I've had 3 students who've returned from Iraq and 1 who had to leave my class to go over.

But what about those students and faculty who don't have someone to share those experiences with? I was blessed with a wonderful support network of friends and family in Iowa and Illinois who helped me through those lonely, scary days while he was gone. I won't forget how alone I felt so many nights and weekends. One memory still sticks in my mind. I often had to pass by an English professor's office door who had posted anti-war signs. Each time I passed, I felt confused and saddened. I didn't approve of the war, but I felt that those signs marginalized my experiences and the experiences of others who may be in a similar predicament. At a time when the events and the result of each day were uncertain, I knew I wouldn't find support from that person should something happen, and unfortunately it was someone I had to work with regularly in some capacity. How many students had to pass that door and feel unsupported? How many faculty members who had loved ones overseas felt unsupported when they passed that door?

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say in this blog posting. I guess I just wanted to take a moment to remember that just a little over 2 years ago I was in a very different place, an uncertain place. Today, things are so much better, but at any moment, both Ken and I could find ourselves right back there again, dealing with that familiar uncertainty. I feel good in knowing that we've taken a big step in making our time together count. Moving in together, though a big decision on both our parts, was a step toward bringing our lives together while we have the chance to be together. I realize now how important it is to take action on something and make things count.

I thought I'd share these as well. Here are two pictures of the memorial stones placed in a Veteran's Memorial park in Dunkerton, IA - not far from where Ken's family used to live. Ken's brother, Tom, I believe, was responsible for donating for these stones. One stone shows Ken's grandfather, his father, and his uncles' names and the branch of service they served. Ken has his own stone with his former rank and the war he served in. Ken never says much, but I think knowing someone did this for his family meant a lot to him. He's very modest about his service and gets a little embarrassed when people stop him in uniform to thank him. But I like to think that deep down such actions mean something to him and make it easier for him to do "his job."

Weekend at Home

This weekend finds Ken and me at home in IL. He's dinking around the apartment doing little weekend projects, and I'm trying to get things organized as well. On Wednesday, Mom, Melissa, and I leave for NYC where I'm attending a Writing Project conference. Mom and Missy will be sightseeing on their own. I wish I could do that too. But I was just there in March. Hopefully, we'll have some time to do things together in the evenings and on Saturday for sure. We'll return to IL on Sunday morning at which time Mom and Missy will drive back to Iowa. Ken and I'll be leaving early in the week for Iowa ourselves to celebrate the holiday.

I need to get writing done this weekend as I'll lose several days and another weekend with the traveling. My goal is to return to the Results chapter and see what I can get drafted. My director gave me minimal comments on the first 40 pages, so I feel as though I can move forward with some confidence. I keep dreaming of what it will feel like someday to have my weekends back and not to be working on this project.

Not much else to share right now. May have more news later.

Same As Before

The weekend has come and gone, and it is a Monday once again. Thankfully, this Monday finds me at home working. It'll be one of those weird weeks again. Home on Monday, CTLT on Tuesday, Coal City workshop on Wednesday, CTLT on Thursday and Friday. I like having my Fridays at home to work, but I'll adjust I suppose. Weeks like these just make it more difficult to get things done on the diss.

I do feel good that I did send another revision of my Methodology chapter on to my director. That makes the 5th draft of that beast. Hopefully, this one is getting closer to being ready. I'm analyzing data for the second part of my Results chapter and am still waiting to get any feedback on my first half. I don't think I'm going to make my goal of having a draft of every chapter by the end of the semester.

I guess I had a nice weekend. I had to go grocery shopping on Sat. Man, what a chore! That is certainly not my favorite activity. I'm trying to shop less, so I've taken to making out a menu at least a week in advance to cut down on the trips to the store (and also so Ken knows what to make on the nights I come home late). The best part about Saturday was that Matt & Lisa came to the Bollingbrook area to do some shopping and we got together that night for dinner. We ate at a Mongolian BBQ place, which was wonderful! We have to try out those places while Ken is gone because he wouldn't like eating there. It was a quick visit, but we had a lot of laughs as usual.

Not much else new. I need to get started on some work this morning. More later.

Welcome (or Not?) November

Here it is, November 1 already and so little of the dissertation to show for it. In my defense, October has been a horrendously busy month. With yet another Coal City workshop presentation, an IATE conference presentation, a birthday, another Iranian Studies issue to copyedit, and a 4-day work-related trip to Pittsburgh, it's a wonder I got anything done at all.

Today finds me working on yet another revision of the Methodology chapter. Yes, seven weeks later, I finally got director comments (only to wish I hadn't). The result: more work. Will it ever be finished, I wonder. Who knows. But here I am plugging away at it again. This time I've cut out almost half of what I put in last time, per director requests. I've sent the first 40 pages of my Results chapter on to him again...with very little hope of seeing comments before the end of November (ok, am I just being nasty here?) I know that chapter's in very rough shape, but at least it's something drafted, or so I tell myself. I'm sure that one wil come back as slaughtered as the others.

It'll just be me and the cats this weekend. Ken's off to play Army in WI, so I'm hoping for a productive work weekend at home. It would be nice to have visitors, but I guess I'm just too far away. I'll probably be back on here this weekend sometime as I search for a break from writing.