I think it's finally hit me. The walking death plague, that is. I've been feeling like I've been fighting off a cold for some time though I'm usually pretty good and only get sick once a year or so. After last fall's horrible cold, I thought I was good for a while. However, today I've been feeling significantly worse as the day has gone on. What began as a mild tickle in my throat is still there but has escalated to include a headache and the warm headfog that is indicative of a fever in my view. Unfortunately, I am stuck tutoring until 5 at which time I was going to head to the grocery story for a few food items. I may be purchasing some cold meds now too as a "just in case." Things are pretty slow at the tutoring center now (can't you tell?) which makes me wonder if I even really need to be here. Aye, but money is money.
Mom emailed me today to let me know that Grandma is in the hospital. Now, those of you who know my Grandma know that she is the healthiest person around and espcially healthy for an 84 year-old woman. Apparently Grandma had some chest pressure yesterday so Mom took her to the emergency room. They're testing her for a heart attack, but all signs point to the idea that she did not have one. They were doing a stress test on her today, and Mom is supposed to call me tonight with details. Mom says not to worry right now and not to rush home. But this has me wishing I were home again. I hate not being right there when something happens with my family. I know that I will be there soon enough and all, but I feel the need to be there now. Of course, if I am in fact coming down with the plague, it would not be wise for me to be there. I'll just keep saying a little prayer that Grandma is ok.
Have a meeting with the Diss Director tomorrow. He just emailed to say that chs 4 and 5 looked ok and will probably only need an hour's worth of revisions (is that an hour's worth of my time or his?). He still needs to look at chs. 1 and 6 (intro and conclusio) and hasn't said when exactly he'll be able to look at those, but as soon as those are ready to go, I'm going to be able to give the whole committee a full draft of the whole thing. My plan is to get it to them before Spring Break (1 week away...Eeek!). My, my won't I be on my way then? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will all come together and I can actually graduate in May. Wouldn't that be a surprise? ...but I'm still not getting my hopes up.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Pushed Out of Iowa
Yes, I was pushed...by a monster snow storm that was making its way east and causing nasty driving. I managed to stay in Iowa until Monday morning (so Ken and I could watch the Oscars together), but had to leave super early on Monday to get ahead of the storm. I left by 7 am which turned out to be fine. I hit some fog and a little drizzly rain near Cedar Rapids, but that was about the most exciting part of the drive. Here in Illinois, we got about 2-3 inches of snow overnight and they are calling for some blowing snow today. Lucky me, I am safely ensconced in the Lamonica's house with no plans to go anywhere until Spring Break (2 weeks).
The weekend in Iowa was just what I needed. I kept pretty much to myself most of the weekend, just seeing some family like Ken, Mom, Missy & family, and Grandma. Friday night, Ken and I had dinner together and then just hung out at the house in Parkersburg with the cats (yes, very exciting I know). Saturday, he had to help his sister Kathy move so I didn't see much of him. That was fine though as I spent the day with Mom and then we went over to Missy's house to have dinner with her family and Grandma too. It was very relaxing. Sunday, Ken and I worked at the house, went to Mom's for dinner, and then drove around the area looking at houses for rent (having no luck whatsoever). I'm totally discouraged about the possibility of finding a decent house in the area to rent. Even apartments in the area aren't that great. I think we're going to have to extend our search area a bit.
In all, I had a very nice time at home. I managed to work on my conclusion chapter a bit, but have tried to put the dissertation and its worries in the back of my mind (that is until Thursday when I have to meet with the Director again).
The weekend in Iowa was just what I needed. I kept pretty much to myself most of the weekend, just seeing some family like Ken, Mom, Missy & family, and Grandma. Friday night, Ken and I had dinner together and then just hung out at the house in Parkersburg with the cats (yes, very exciting I know). Saturday, he had to help his sister Kathy move so I didn't see much of him. That was fine though as I spent the day with Mom and then we went over to Missy's house to have dinner with her family and Grandma too. It was very relaxing. Sunday, Ken and I worked at the house, went to Mom's for dinner, and then drove around the area looking at houses for rent (having no luck whatsoever). I'm totally discouraged about the possibility of finding a decent house in the area to rent. Even apartments in the area aren't that great. I think we're going to have to extend our search area a bit.
In all, I had a very nice time at home. I managed to work on my conclusion chapter a bit, but have tried to put the dissertation and its worries in the back of my mind (that is until Thursday when I have to meet with the Director again).
Thursday, February 21, 2008
That's it. I'm going home.
I finally made up my mind. I'm going go home this weekend to recuperate from dissertation-induced insanity. The director said he can't read the two latest chapters I gave him because he's too busy (never mind the fact that I worked my butt off all last weekend, even cancelling fun plans [see previous posts] to get those to him). Apparently one of the faculty members in the dept, who is notorious for getting sick, is sick yet again. Of course, everyone around here is sick with the walking death plague, so I can't blame this person too much for getting sick and needing the director to fill in, although really now, this person always seems to be sick! I know because I had two classes with said instructor and we always missed 1/3 of the course due to instructor illness. As a student, I didn't mind if class was cancelled. I rather enjoyed it in fact. However, now that I've got a schedule to keep and this person is infringing on that schedule, I'm peeved. Enough said.
So I'm heading home tomorrow for a brief visit home with family. Ken has to help one of his sisters move on Sat and Sun, so I won't even see much of him (I'm refusing to spend my recuperation weekend moving anyone!). That's a bummer. But at least I'll see him for a bit on Friday evening and maybe Sunday evening so I can hear how the new job is going. I'll also get to see the cats, which I admit to missing something terrible. I really like Tom & Claire's cats, Maggie and Merlin, but I do miss my own too. Somehow, though, I doubt they even know I'm gone.
I've got another 2 hours at the CTLT and then off to Heartland for some fun time working on tutoring projects until 6. Claire's invited me to an ISU women's basketball game, which I think will be fun as we have an awesome team. Then home to pack and rest up for Friday's drive home. I, too, have been fighting the comings-on of the death plague which seems to want to claim me as a victim too. For that, I blame all the students at Heartland who refuse to stay home when they are obviously walking germ factories and dissertation directors for causing unneeded stress which has weakened my immune system. With that said, I'm going to pump some more hand sanitizer and be on my way!
So I'm heading home tomorrow for a brief visit home with family. Ken has to help one of his sisters move on Sat and Sun, so I won't even see much of him (I'm refusing to spend my recuperation weekend moving anyone!). That's a bummer. But at least I'll see him for a bit on Friday evening and maybe Sunday evening so I can hear how the new job is going. I'll also get to see the cats, which I admit to missing something terrible. I really like Tom & Claire's cats, Maggie and Merlin, but I do miss my own too. Somehow, though, I doubt they even know I'm gone.
I've got another 2 hours at the CTLT and then off to Heartland for some fun time working on tutoring projects until 6. Claire's invited me to an ISU women's basketball game, which I think will be fun as we have an awesome team. Then home to pack and rest up for Friday's drive home. I, too, have been fighting the comings-on of the death plague which seems to want to claim me as a victim too. For that, I blame all the students at Heartland who refuse to stay home when they are obviously walking germ factories and dissertation directors for causing unneeded stress which has weakened my immune system. With that said, I'm going to pump some more hand sanitizer and be on my way!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I miss the train conductor...
...but I don't miss the train. I'd forgotten how nice it is to live in the same town that I work in. I realized this just the other day when I filled my car up with gas after not needing to fill it up for over a week. When driving/commuting, I filled it sometimes twice a week, depending on the weather and the amount of driving. I do kind of miss Mr. C., the Tuesday/Thursday morning train conductor. He always knew my name and asked how things were going. Sometimes I wonder if he wonders what happened to me and why I don't ride the train anymore. Maybe I flatter myself by thinking he remembers me at all.
I have a job interview the Friday before spring break for the job that I didn't apply for. It's more of an interview/meeting to get to know me and learn more about what skills/qualifications I have that I might be able to bring to a job if one comes available. In that sense, maybe I shouldn't call it an interview at all. I'm trying to stay positive about the experience and hopeful that something good will work out. Of course the negative me just thinks, what's the point, but then I try to think of the good and say to myself, "maybe there'll be something for me after all." After all, I'm impressed that they want to meet with me at all considering I told them I didn't think I was qualified for the position we originally spoke about. At least the meeting will correspond with me driving home for spring break and I won't be making an extra trip.
...But going home sounds kind of like a good idea right now. I confess that I've been feeling a bit homesick lately. It's hard to get used to being alone after living with someone, and I'll admit it - I miss Ken and want to see him again. I wouldn't have admitted to being homesick if another friend hadn't come right out and said she was feeling that way too. I figured if she could say it (and she's older than me), then I could too. Why is it so hard to admit a weakness?
So, I'm toying with the idea of going home this weekend, but am not sure if I can swing it with the work I have to do. This weekend's agenda: write chapter 6, revise chapter 1 so it corresponds with the new focus for the diss, work on RWT lesson for website, and update professional writing portfolio for interview. I'm supposed to meet with the diss director on Thursday, but he's emailed me to let me know he's very busy and may not get my 2 chapters that I gave to him on Monday read by then. If he doesn't, then I guess I won't revise those this weekend. I'm supposed to wait until tomorrow to see if he has time to read them/comment on them to see if we're meeting. I've been writing like crazy allowing very little fun time, so maybe I need a trip home after all.
I have a job interview the Friday before spring break for the job that I didn't apply for. It's more of an interview/meeting to get to know me and learn more about what skills/qualifications I have that I might be able to bring to a job if one comes available. In that sense, maybe I shouldn't call it an interview at all. I'm trying to stay positive about the experience and hopeful that something good will work out. Of course the negative me just thinks, what's the point, but then I try to think of the good and say to myself, "maybe there'll be something for me after all." After all, I'm impressed that they want to meet with me at all considering I told them I didn't think I was qualified for the position we originally spoke about. At least the meeting will correspond with me driving home for spring break and I won't be making an extra trip.
...But going home sounds kind of like a good idea right now. I confess that I've been feeling a bit homesick lately. It's hard to get used to being alone after living with someone, and I'll admit it - I miss Ken and want to see him again. I wouldn't have admitted to being homesick if another friend hadn't come right out and said she was feeling that way too. I figured if she could say it (and she's older than me), then I could too. Why is it so hard to admit a weakness?
So, I'm toying with the idea of going home this weekend, but am not sure if I can swing it with the work I have to do. This weekend's agenda: write chapter 6, revise chapter 1 so it corresponds with the new focus for the diss, work on RWT lesson for website, and update professional writing portfolio for interview. I'm supposed to meet with the diss director on Thursday, but he's emailed me to let me know he's very busy and may not get my 2 chapters that I gave to him on Monday read by then. If he doesn't, then I guess I won't revise those this weekend. I'm supposed to wait until tomorrow to see if he has time to read them/comment on them to see if we're meeting. I've been writing like crazy allowing very little fun time, so maybe I need a trip home after all.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I Hate Dissertations
So, just as I'm thinking I couldn't hate writing a dissertation (or working with a certain director) anymore, I'm proven wrong yet again. At the now-weekly meeting with the director, he informed me within the span of an hour that 1) yes I would finish by May, and then 2) I might not finish by May and should not commit myself to that idea. As I'm holding back the tears at this latest news, he says in a mock-comfortingly way "we'll try." What is that supposed to mean?! I've been working my butt off for how many months (years) now to get this done and he decides that "maybe I won't make it by May"? So, after spending 15 minutes in my cubicle at work trying to hide from my co-workers the sound of my sniffing nose and the even more obvious sounds of a sobbing nose being blown, I got angry and decided that I'm going to write and write. I even called and cancelled my fun plans for Sunday morning/lunch with Keely just because I knew I had to get some serious work done on this thing (not that I haven't been doing that anyway). Thankfully she was very understanding, but I feel worse now that this cruelty has seeped into the few pleasures I have here in Normal. Okay, yes, I know I'm being a bit melodramatic here! Sigh.
A bigger problem is that I'm suffering from extremely low confidence in my abilities to write anything now. How in the world am I supposed to sit down and write? Every time I see him I fell as though he's giving me bad news. Frankly, at this point, I'm ready to go back to work at Target like I did as an undergraduate. At least those were happy days. This whole week has just been miserable. No home of my own, no Ken, no more editing job which means no more money, no good news on my dissertation, and now, maybe, no graduation. I shudder to think what else could go wrong this week. Thankfully, the week's almost over.
A bigger problem is that I'm suffering from extremely low confidence in my abilities to write anything now. How in the world am I supposed to sit down and write? Every time I see him I fell as though he's giving me bad news. Frankly, at this point, I'm ready to go back to work at Target like I did as an undergraduate. At least those were happy days. This whole week has just been miserable. No home of my own, no Ken, no more editing job which means no more money, no good news on my dissertation, and now, maybe, no graduation. I shudder to think what else could go wrong this week. Thankfully, the week's almost over.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Back to Normal
Real original title, eh? Like you didn't see that one coming. Yes, here I am in Normal, IL again. So far, so good. It was a little rough last night just because I was overly emotional with the move and having to leave Ken again. Truth be told, I was fine with everything until he got a little misty on me as we were walking out of our little apartment for the last time. It seemed so surreal to see it empty again. And now that I'm back in Normal and did some of my usual running around town (groceries, drop off recycling and items to goodwill, etc.), in some ways it feels like the last 7 months were all a dream. Did I ever leave? Was that whole living together thing even real? If it wasn't for this blog and the record of it all, I might not believe it all myself.
Things at my new digs are good. I spent some time last night getting myself settled into my room. Believe it or not people, but I have cable in my room! Talk about a luxury! It's a good thing I've moved my computer to the office on the main floor or I'd never get work done up there with cable. The Lamonicas have set me up really nice. They gave me a desk in their office where I set up my computer and can have internet access. I was worried about having to work on a dissertation without being able to check my email/blogs every 15 minutes when I get stuck. I even have a window so I can see what's happening at the Burt's house if I really want to (apparently the entire English department [or former dept members] lives on this street.
In other news, I may have a job interview for a job I didn't apply for. Weird huh? I checked my email last night to discover that I was being invited to interview for a grant writer job at the hospital back home where my mom, sister, and aunt work. I knew about this job in December and actually wrote the man about it to learn more. He replied by sending me the position description. After I read it, I didn't think I was qualified, so I wrote him back thanking him for sending it to me and noting that I may not be the best candidate. I never heard from him again, as I assumed would happen. Then out of the blue, nearly 2 months later, I get an email from a secretery saying this guy wants me to come in for an interview. I'm confused. I never even sent this guy a cover letter, let alone a resume or CV with my qualifications (or lack thereof)! I'm not sure whether I should go to it now as I don't think I'm qualified. I need to ask Mom what's going on and if there's something I should know about the position or the people. I wish I could get more requests for interviews for jobs I don't apply for. In truth, it would make my job search a lot easier.
Things at my new digs are good. I spent some time last night getting myself settled into my room. Believe it or not people, but I have cable in my room! Talk about a luxury! It's a good thing I've moved my computer to the office on the main floor or I'd never get work done up there with cable. The Lamonicas have set me up really nice. They gave me a desk in their office where I set up my computer and can have internet access. I was worried about having to work on a dissertation without being able to check my email/blogs every 15 minutes when I get stuck. I even have a window so I can see what's happening at the Burt's house if I really want to (apparently the entire English department [or former dept members] lives on this street.
In other news, I may have a job interview for a job I didn't apply for. Weird huh? I checked my email last night to discover that I was being invited to interview for a grant writer job at the hospital back home where my mom, sister, and aunt work. I knew about this job in December and actually wrote the man about it to learn more. He replied by sending me the position description. After I read it, I didn't think I was qualified, so I wrote him back thanking him for sending it to me and noting that I may not be the best candidate. I never heard from him again, as I assumed would happen. Then out of the blue, nearly 2 months later, I get an email from a secretery saying this guy wants me to come in for an interview. I'm confused. I never even sent this guy a cover letter, let alone a resume or CV with my qualifications (or lack thereof)! I'm not sure whether I should go to it now as I don't think I'm qualified. I need to ask Mom what's going on and if there's something I should know about the position or the people. I wish I could get more requests for interviews for jobs I don't apply for. In truth, it would make my job search a lot easier.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Last Post From Romeoville
This will be the last post from our little apartment in Romeoville. Tonight I have to tear down the computer and disconnect the internet in anticipation of the packers coming tomorrow. Whatever will I do without my internet, my lifeline to the rest of the world?! Alas, it's finally time to pack everything up and send Ken off to Iowa and me off to Normal once again.
I spent today at home instead of at work as the weather in the Chicago area is horrible. We're getting "another major storm." It's been snowing here since around noon, and I think it's really just the beginning. The weather person is saying we could get between 8-12 inches of snow. Great. That should make the packers/movers happy.
I'm in a not-so-happy dissertation place. After a freak-out weekend of horrible miscommunication emails with the "director," we had a "come-to-Jesus"..."let's-settle-this-thing-like-men" talk on Tuesday (after I met with the grad coordinator to get up my nerve, of course). We're now on a better page about things. The good news: he really liked the last 10 pages of chapter 6, analysis chapter. The bad news: this means I need to scrap chapters four and five and rewrite them so that they lead into the good part of ch. 6 AND beef up chapter 6 and the conclusion, all of which the director says I can easily do. Right. Oh, and do all of this in less than 2 weeks. Should be fun, right? Moving, adjusting to a new living/writing environment, and rewriting 2-3 chapters. Great. I just want this *#*#* thing done! Can't you tell? Somebody get me out of here.
No real job prospects yet. I've applied for two more positions in Iowa, so hopefully one will come through or I'll at least get an interview to make me feel better. I need to stop thinking about jobs and get the diss done, I know. I spent the greter part of 2 hours today just filling out the online application. What ever happened to just sending a resume & cover letter, I'd like to know. Why do I have to repeat every bit of my resume on the online app AND send a resume too?!
Some good news is that people seem to be happy that I'm coming back to Normal again. I've already started making some plans for when I'm there, which I know will help ease the adjustment. It will be good to be with friends again, but I know I'll miss Ken a lot. We've grown a lot closer doing this cohabitational thing. For now, the cohabitational blog title will be a little ways from the truth, but come May, we'll be back in that setting again.
I spent today at home instead of at work as the weather in the Chicago area is horrible. We're getting "another major storm." It's been snowing here since around noon, and I think it's really just the beginning. The weather person is saying we could get between 8-12 inches of snow. Great. That should make the packers/movers happy.
I'm in a not-so-happy dissertation place. After a freak-out weekend of horrible miscommunication emails with the "director," we had a "come-to-Jesus"..."let's-settle-this-thing-like-men" talk on Tuesday (after I met with the grad coordinator to get up my nerve, of course). We're now on a better page about things. The good news: he really liked the last 10 pages of chapter 6, analysis chapter. The bad news: this means I need to scrap chapters four and five and rewrite them so that they lead into the good part of ch. 6 AND beef up chapter 6 and the conclusion, all of which the director says I can easily do. Right. Oh, and do all of this in less than 2 weeks. Should be fun, right? Moving, adjusting to a new living/writing environment, and rewriting 2-3 chapters. Great. I just want this *#*#* thing done! Can't you tell? Somebody get me out of here.
No real job prospects yet. I've applied for two more positions in Iowa, so hopefully one will come through or I'll at least get an interview to make me feel better. I need to stop thinking about jobs and get the diss done, I know. I spent the greter part of 2 hours today just filling out the online application. What ever happened to just sending a resume & cover letter, I'd like to know. Why do I have to repeat every bit of my resume on the online app AND send a resume too?!
Some good news is that people seem to be happy that I'm coming back to Normal again. I've already started making some plans for when I'm there, which I know will help ease the adjustment. It will be good to be with friends again, but I know I'll miss Ken a lot. We've grown a lot closer doing this cohabitational thing. For now, the cohabitational blog title will be a little ways from the truth, but come May, we'll be back in that setting again.
Friday, February 1, 2008
February 1, 2008
Here it is February. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was saying, "Here it is January"? Time is moving along far too quickly for my likes.
I just had a great conversation with my former advistor at UNI. After all the stress and negative energy I've been getting at ISU about not going officially on the market and selling myself short for a life in Iowa (i.e., leaving a career for a relationship - yes, that's the perspective out here if you do not go on the market and do a nation-wide search), I had a very good conversation with my UNI mentor. He understands, is supportive, and gets what I want my life to be. He did say that I could be in for some rough times finding a position in Iowa doing what I want, but he was very confident that I would find and be successful in something of my choice. This was something I desperately needed to hear as I haven't felt very supported at ISU lately, which has made it all the more difficult to finish. Anyway, I just want to send out a thanks to Dr. Bill for his support and guidance.
Here's a recent picture of the boys. It's been pretty cold lately, and so Artemus has been in hibernation mode. At first, I thought he was sick as he wasn't eating as much and was constantly sleeping/acting like a slug. Then I got him to start eating though he kept sleeping all the time, and so then I thought perhaps he had S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder), in response to which Ken asked me, "Did you diagnose this yourself?" And to which I replied, "Yes, just look at him!"
Anyway, now I don't think he has S.A.D., but is really just a short-haired cat who gets cold and hibernates in the early months of the year. He loves this purr pad that Nikki and Brian bought for Tucker when I first got him. Usually the cats fight over who gets it. As soon as one gets up to eat, drink, or use the litter, the other hops in and takes over. Now, they've gotten less polite and are going after it when the other is still in it. Here you see Tucker who has sidled on in with Artemus. Tucker, having just eaten his seventh meal of the day, is delightedly licking his chops and settling in for a toasty little rest. Shortly after this picture was taken Artemus decided he'd prefer to be alone elsewhere and left.
Last weekend, we had a lovely time in downtown Chicago with Brother Tom. We went to the Chicago History Museum, drove around Wrigley Field, and went to Blue Chicago for some music. This weekend is Ken and my last weekend in Illinois together at our apartment. I think we're going for one last trip to the Del Rhea Chix basket; other than that, I don't know what we'll do (besides continue to pack/organize). The packers come on Thursday and the movers on Friday.
Here's one more fun one of Tucker helping himself to more food in the pantry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)