Conversation with a Student

The following conversation took place in the hallway outside my office between 11:45 a.m.-12:00 p.m. today. 

Student: "Mrs. --- is so unfair! She counted me absent today but I was there."

Me: "Why would she count you absent if you were there?"

Student: "I got there early and put my stuff in the classroom. Then I had to run to Financial Aid to do something. When I came back she wouldn't let me sign the attendance sheet."

Me: "How long were you gone?"

Student: " Five minutes."

Me: "Five minutes? Really?

Student: "Maybe a little longer.

Me: "Like what?"

Student: "I got there at 9:30"

Me: "Class started at 9, right? You missed 30 minutes out of a 75 minute class?"

Student: "Yeah."

Me: "So you missed almost the whole first part of class?"

Student: "Yeah."

Me: "You think you should get full credit for that?"

Student: "Yeah. I left my stuff in there, so she knew I was coming back."

Me: "You just left your stuff in there? Dropping your things in there doesn't mean you were there. Your backpack could get credit, but you can't."

Student: "You don't know what I'm sayin'..."

Me: "Yeah, I do. You're sayin' you weren't there, but your backpack was and you're mad that you won't get counted as attending when you weren't actually attending."

Student: "I'm going to complain to my adviser. He's a Dean and he will tell her how things are supposed to be and take care of me. He'll make her add me."

Me: "But you weren't in class the whole time."

Student: "So?"

Me: "So, why should you get full credit for not being there?"

Student: "Uh..."

Me: "Is this going to affect your grade in the class?"

Student: "No."

Me: "So what's the big deal?"

Student: "She can't do that to me."

Me: "What do you mean 'she can't'? She's the teacher. Those are her rules. So, really, you're just mad that you didn't get your way."

Student: "Yeah, well, I guess. So does that mean I shouldn't tell my advisor?"

---

Afterthought:  In my 12 years of college, I don't recall having a lesson or class called, "Dealing with Students' Ever-Changing Perceptions of Reality." 

---

Later, I delighted in this imaginary conversation I could have with my boss...

Boss: "Where were you yesterday? We didn't see you around and you didn't tell us you were going to be gone."

Me: "Oh, I was there. When I got there, I turned the light on in my office and left my bag. Then I had to go to the grocery store to get something for dinner, then take the cats to the vet, and then go home and mow my lawn. But I was there because I left my stuff there."

Boss: "Oh, ok. I guess as long as you dropped your stuff off you should still get paid the full amount for the day even though you completed no work, contributed nothing to the school, and were, in fact, in no way shape or form, where you were supposed to be."

Me: "Yup."