Reflections on the End: 1 Day to Go

So many of the things on my last blog entry that I said I had yet to do are done. School is done and so I'm settling into my summer routine of sleeping, cleaning, sewing, playing, gardening, and taking full advantage of the Cable I'm paying through the nose for. Tonight: 48 Hours Mystery, The OCD Project, etc. Flipping channels around mostly while I decide if I'm actually tired enough to go to bed after taking my cat nap this afternoon. Yes, the insanity of the school year is fully compensated for in May, June, and July!

Last week, my friend Lynn and I headed to Nebraska to do some work on the new house she bought out there. It was a busy week: we painted, we tore up carpet, we hauled stuff away. I never knew we could accomplish so much in 2 days! We also found time to have fun and hung out with her daughter, the grandkids, and drove into Lincoln to hit some sewing stores and score some good deals!

Since I arrived home, I've been keeping in touch with Ken about his impending arrival home in about 1 more day (Monday). He's in Indiana now taking care of final briefings and such. I'm so ready for him to be home, I can hardly stand the waiting anymore. Just to think about being able to talk to him whenever I want makes me giddy with the thought that I can actually be "married" now. A whole year of so little conversation with him has really been strange and very hard. Such an experience really puts the ole relationship thing to a test. The trust, patience, and love really get tested when you can't just pick up the phone to call each other (well, at least I couldn't) or get an immediate response to a question or issue that's going on.

As this deployment comes to an end, I absolutely must send out millions of heartfelt thanks to all my friends and family who supported me through this situation. Thank you for checking on me, making me laugh, listening to my fears/stresses, for dragging me out of the house when all I wanted to do was hide from the world, and for sending little notes/gifts of support throughout the whole time. Most of all, thank you for being there for me and understanding this situation in the best way you can. Many of you expressed your lack of familiarity with what it means to live with a spouse gone for so long and in such a scary place where the future is uncertain, and while you shared that you didn't know what I was feeling, you also did the best thing possible for me: you were always there when I needed you and more importantly, when I didn't know I needed you. You are all wonderful, and I'm a blessed person to have you in my life. I only hope that I can be as good of a friend to you as you have been to me.

For the first time in a long time, I feel good about things to come. While in Nebraska, I got a call from Ken that said he was back in the States. It took a full day for that to sink in. He was almost home. He was safe. He was on the same continent! I could actually call him on his cell phone. The next day as I was tearing up carpet and tack strips at Lynn's house, I suddenly stopped and said quietly to myself, "It's almost over. It's almost over." After a year of worrying and feeling sad, overwhelmed, worried, lonely, guilty for being here while he isn't, I finally let myself release some of those feelings. I'm hopeful that this next stage in our lives is all that we dreamed it would be.

Welcome Home Kenny!