Can I Leave Class Part II

Today, the same student from the last post came up to me at the beginning of class and asked if he could leave our class to go make up a test from a different class. Seriously?  I just said, "Go." Then I marked him absent. I wonder if he'll even know why...

Can I Leave Class?

I just had a conversation with a student a few minutes ago about his attitude in class. Today, yet again, he has decided that texting on his cell phone during class is far more important than anything we are doing and that asking me at the beginning of every single class if we are doing "anything" today and if he can leave is what a college student should do.  Apparently calling him out in class on it does nothing, so we had a nice conversation in the hall after letting the class go for the day.

This conversation reminded me quite a bit of the "I left my bag in class so I was there" student from a week or so ago. Somebody...please tell me that today's 20-something-year-olds are really not this dense.

Me: "So, what's going on?"

Student: "Nothing."

Me: "Obviously. So what's the deal with the cell phone, again?"

Student: "What about it?"

Me: "You being on it. Remember the first day of class? The syllabus? All that conversation about why you should not be on your phone or if you need to be on your phone that you should leave."

Student: "But if I leave, then I won't get the assignment."

Me: "Yeah, but if you stay, you aren't paying attention and are still not getting the assignment, so why be here?

Student: "Because you said I had to."

Me: "I never said you had to. In fact, I made a special point about telling you to leave when you asked me if you had to be here. Yet you stayed and then proceeded to be as rude as humanly possible with your comments and your phone. In fact, I want you to leave. I don't want this attitude in class. Your bad attitude affects my attitude which in turn make me not want to be here."

Student: "I would never disrespect you. You're a doctor. You know what you're talking about."

Me: "Really? I don't think you do know what I'm talking about considering I've had this conversation with you more than once. So why are you on the phone?"

Student: "I get bored. I just want to turn in my assignment and leave."

Me: "So do it. No one is making you stay. You're an adult. I'm not babysitting you. If you want to be that kind of student, do it. But don't expect to get points or the homework assignment for not being there, and you better not ever ask me if you can leave again. Just do it. In fact, I'd prefer it."

Student: "I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I just don't see why I have to stay if I've turned in my assignment."

Me: "You don't have to stay. No one is making you. But why didn't you take this as an online class when it's very apparent to me that you have no desire to be in this class. And don't tell me you do want to be here because someone who asks if they can leave all the time clearly doesn't."

Student: "I like class. I just don't want to have to stay."

Me: "Then don't stay. It's your choice."

Student: "But you said I have to."

Me: "I'm not sure how to make this more clear to you: you do NOT have to be here! You are an adult and it's your CHOICE to be here."

Student: "Okay, I'll be better. I just won't bring my cell phone at all to class."

Me: ...sigh...

Honorary Sideline Coach...Me?

I received quite an interesting email just a moment ago. Here it is (names removed to protect the ever-so-guilty):

Dear Marcea,

My name is --- and I am a student assistant in Athletics Academic Services and in charge of organizing the Honorary Sideline Coach (HSC) program. We have taken nominations, and you have been nominated as an Honorary Sideline Coach by --- on the Soccer team!

As you know, we are in the midst of another exciting soccer season, and I am happy to extend to you an invitation to experience the excitement first hand as an HSC. This program provides a unique experience for our faculty to be with the team and participate in team activities on the day of the competition. The selection of the faculty to participate comes directly from our student athletes. Your name was submitted by --- because you have positively impacted her experience at UNI.

Umm...Honorary Sideline Coach? Did I miss something? What is this? Somebody please tell me. I am the least athletic or sports-minded person I know. And why have I never heard of anything like this before?  I am teaching a class at UNI on how to teach grammar to K-8 students and I do have one student who is on the soccer team. So this must have to do with her. Dang her for getting me involved! What the heck?

Essentially though, aside from the fact that I have no idea what an Honorary Sideline Coach is or does, here's my quandary -- the class I'm teaching is only a 1 credit hour course, and it's ONLINE!!!  I don't even know these students and they don't know me. I have no clue what they look like or sound like. I know them only from a few keystrokes every week.  As instructor-students, we've interacted a handful of times on our course website, and in terms of this soccer student, I've only corresponded with her via email once or twice. So how in the world could she have nominated me, ME!, to be such a thing?

I suppose I should be honored. Right? After all, it is an HONORARY title.  Or should I be suspicious? Is this some new type of student-instructor hazing?  Will I show up only and be the only one there? Or will I arrive in the midst of some "under-the-cloak-of-darkness" hazing ritual where they demand that I drink beer upside down, build a pyramid out of aluminum cans, and then sprint over hot coals just to get back to my car? (And then end up on someone's Facebook page, naturally.)

Then again, maybe this actually is a good thing -- a fine, upstanding, university-sanctioned event. Perhaps I will get a free T-Shirt or perhaps some pom poms to wave. Maybe all I have to do is show up and I'll be treated as "queen for a day," er "coach for a day." Maybe I can even ask for an official whistle and megaphone!

If I do decide to go, I just hope they wouldn't expect much, especially not (Heaven forbid) coaching!